St. Louis Divorce Law Blog

Raising a child takes a lot of work. It gets harder still when Missourians do it alone. When the other parent fails to pay their child support obligation the challenge quotient spikes to a whole new level.

Take, for instance, one mother. She has spent the last 14 years struggling to get her son's father to support the son financially. Most days, it feels hopeless. That is because she has gone years without collecting any child support. In all, she is owed $15,000.

One man thought he was doing a couple a favor. A same-sex couple had posted an ad in Craigslist asking for a sperm donor. The man answered the ad and helped the couple have a child. Now a state neighboring Missouri is trying to make the man pay child support, even though the man and the couple signed a contract that said the man would not be financially responsible for the child.

Why? Because the state the child lives in does not recognize same-sex unions, so when the couple split and applied for state health insurance for the child, the state demanded that they reveal the name of the sperm donor. When they did, the state pursued the donor to establish paternity and a child support order.

In Missouri and elsewhere, people realize that splitting up does a number on the pocketbook. Lost income, spousal support payments and child support can turn a full wallet into an empty one in a hurry. But those are not the only costs Missourians going through a divorce should expect.

For starters, everyday expenses will cost more. Childcare, for instance, will go up. Before, the couple had two people to take care of the kids. Now they won't. That means day care, babysitters and other care-related expenses. Similarly, if the parents share physical custody that can also mean doubling up on beds, toys, games and the like.

Child custody and visitation are not issues for parents only. They also affect grandparents. Many grandparents raise their grandchildren as their own. Still others want to have an active role in their children's lives. Unfortunately, when family problems arise, grandparents often have trouble maintaining those ties. Divorce, death, deployments or any number of reasons may mean loving grandparents can no longer have a role in their grandchildren's lives.

As a result, a state neighboring Missouri may be taking a step toward enhancing grandparents' rights. An Oklahoma legislator introduced a bill in that state's House that would permit grandparents to seek "reasonable visitation rights" with their children.